Tombs of the Blind Dead - Review
The western just ain’t what it used to be, the big-budget Hollywood musical has fallen to remakes of Broadway musicals, and I can’t remember the last time that a Frankenstein movie was made. However, one specific genre of movie that will always be made, remade, and done over and over again is the zombie movie. There are a number of classics in the genre from “Night of the Living Dead” to “Shaun of the Dead”, the premise works because everyone is familiar with the premise going into the film.
One of the classics that I’ve read a lot about but never had the chance to actually see was “Tombs of the Blind Dead”, but thanks to the local used bookstore, I now own my very own VHS copy in a giant over-sized clamshell box.
The movie starts in the undefined past with some pretty weird-looking monks tying a hysterical woman to an X. After ripping open her shirt, a few monks (we later learn they are Knights Templar) take turns riding past her on horseback and slicing her arms and torso to shreds. During that process, a few of the monks give strange looks to the camera, kind of like they were thinking, “You know, I was fine with the kidnapping and bodice-ripping, but this whole stabbing thing is going a little too far.”
Fast forward to the present (or the present of 1970’s Spain) where a young women gets angry at her boyfriend and jumps from a moving train to walk the Spanish countryside. It eventually gets dark (or at least day-for-night), and she finds herself alone in a creepy deserted castle. A bell rings, tombs open, and she is eventually chased down and chewed on by skeletons in robes.
Strangely enough, these undead Knights Templar are the best part of the movie. The plot, characters, and dialogue often make very little sense, but the design and execution of these undead creatures is the most effective part of the movie. The monsters are blind but rely on their keen hearing to track their prey. The fear that they inspire in their victims allow them to track even the most clever of characters by heartbeat alone.
So why is this considered a zombie movie. Well, the monks are undead (more or less), they look cool, and one character that they bite comes back to life and attacks the living. It’s thin, but you can make the connection.
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