“Doom” review
Why even bother? It was on TV the other night when nothing else good was on, and I needed to fall asleep. That’s why.
“Doom” introduces us to the ragtag bunch of military guys that seem like a mix of SWAT and Special Forces ready for instant deployment anywhere in the universe. This ragtag bunch is full of interesting characters that aren’t really that interesting. They’re all just caricatures that resemble actual characters. The movie even helps us out by giving us they’re nicknames as they pick up their weapons. There’s the new kid, sarge, the religious guy, the inappropriate comment guy, and the introspective, angst-ridden guy. Problem is, there’s not a military force of police agency in the world that would let any of these guys have a gun. They each have serious mental issues that would land them in the psych ward before they even got out of boot camp. And why is it that the new guy looks and acts like he’s never even held a firearm before. If he just joined the most elite squad ready to go anywhere in the universe, don’t you think he would have been through some amount of training. Instead he comes across as the guy that drew the short straw at basic.
Anyway, shortly after introductions, the squad is on another planet, slowly walking through the dark, looking for monsters, and splitting into easily devoured two-man dinner courses (I mean, covering more area to search for hostiles). Monsters come out and attack. Guns are fired. Turns out that the monsters can infect you with something that turns you into a monster. Oh, but they won’t infect you unless you’re already evil, or something. Like I said, I was falling asleep. Wasn’t “Doom” supposed to be about accidentally opening a portal to hell. Did I miss something in the latest release. I understand the zombies, but where did the genetic manipulation come from?
Oh, and The Rock’s in the movie, too.
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