My daughter looks positively edible.  She’s currently covered in chocolate because of a horrible (for me anyway) chocolate cake incident.  So I started to take fake bites of her and it resulted in freaking her out.  Once calmed down, though she started to do the same thing to me.  Either I’ve really messed her up and she will now be a cannibal, or I look positively edible myself.  Both actually seem pretty unlikely.

My kids started school yesterday and we made it through without any tears.  Which just means I’m a bad mother because I didn’t cry like I have every year before this one.  It’s never been them crying on the first day – it’s always me.

On the bright side, I am pretty depressed about it.   I guess that means there’s still hope for me.

My oldest got his first zit.  That makes it time to look for the latest acne treatment out there on the market.  Is it Clearasil or is it Masingil?  Or is it not ill at all?  How am I to know if this is really the beginning of acne or if this is just a fellow who needs to wash his face more often?  And is it wrong that I’m proud he got a zit?

Obviously yes, it is but just how wrong is it?  Are we talking therapy for him later wrong or a mom’s annoying story level of wrong?

You know what I’m saying?

I have one daughter who grows like a weed.  You’d think I’d given her hgh or something.  They say that when you measure a kid at 2years old and double it, that’s how tall they’ll be when they grow up, so in her case we’re looking at 6’6″.  I already knew I’d end up the shortest in the family but I really didn’t think it would be by a foot.

Each year about this time I start worrying about sending the kids back to school.  I feel like I’m abandoning them.  I can see already that sending them off to college is going to be a huge problem – I can’t cut the apron strings.

Each year about this time I start thinking about how I can always home school them.  I think about where we would have class and what school furniture I would get (chalk board or white erase; desks or just sit at the dining room table).  And then I remember that I can’t teach someone to read.  I can teach them to add or subtract and I could probably teach them comprehension but I don’t have the patience required to get them to sound out words.

Which means they’re going to school and I’ll just have to hide my tears that first week like I always do.

My daughter learned a valuable lesson the other day.  She suddenly found out you can not cool off your head standing behind a fan.  A hunk of her hair was ripped from her head when it got sucked in and wrapped around the fan blade.  No blood and in her words, “I didn’t cry.  I squeaked.”   The bald spot is hard to find and hopefully it won’t be too noticeable when the hair grows back in.  And although the fan appeared broken after catching her (the blade stopped rotating) removal of the hair proved to be the cure.  They’re both now back in business.

I’m getting a spa treatment as I type – from my daughters.  The older one is brushing my hair and directing the other one to get her hands soapy and then wiping them in my hair.  If I play my cards right I may be able to work a back scratch out of them as well.

Wish me luck.

My husband has become obsessed with Legos.  He came up with a design for a fingerprint, went to a website that tells you exactly how to build it and what size and color legos you need and then went online and ordered them all.  He waited with baited breath until they arrived and went to the local Lego store to pick up some as well.  Now every night he comes home and works on it.  For some reason, it is taking  much longer than I thought it would.  It doesn’t look that big….

My kids have become obsessed with the 39 Clues books and the website.  They want to go on their accounts every day and I have to treat it like it’s video games because otherwise they would just stay on there all day long.  They’ve memorized the cards that each of them have and they’ve completed all the missions they can with the cards they have.  I thought these were books.  I managed to avoid Pokemon and YuGiO but I’ve fallen into the 39 Clues Card game trap.

(I almost want to buy the cards for myself.)

One day I will buy my husband a classic car.  Not someday soon, mind you, but someday.  When we met he had an old car and was able to take care of it maintenance wise with no problems (it seemed to me) and I know he like muscle cars which I could certainly deal with.  I wouldn’t get him anything too crazy for practicality reasons – like where does one buy classic Ferrari parts?  Getting domestic parts is probably way easier and I know he likes 60s mustangs.  I just hope they made them with air conditioning back then or it will be a winter only car.