Everybody, say it with me:

I vow (I vow)
From this day forward (From this day forward)
That I will never (That I will never)
Ever (Ever)
EVER (EVER)
See another Michael Bay movie, no matter how much I think that I might like it, or how cool it might look in the trailer, or how much someone else says, “Aww, come on”, or I might think that THIS time he’ll make a good movie that makes sense and isn’t all just one big action scene explosion of not making any bit of damned sense. (…bit of damned sense.)

If you had the misfortune to actually watch the Transformers sequel before someone warned you off of it, I sympathize and empathize. Did any single scene or word of dialogue or plot point make any single bit of sense? How did the government convince the world that the giant fighting robots from the first movie didn’t happen? Why couldn’t the Cube fragment revive Optimus? Why do the soldiers constantly fire small arms at the Decepticons when they never, ever cause any damage? Why wasn’t the rail gun used against the robots more than once when one shot kills the biggest robot of them all? Come on. I can accept the premise of giant alien robots fighting on Earth, but I can’t accept so many parts of this movie.

I rate this movie as Chaotic Evil. It is both random and bad.

Boo you, Michael Bay.

Boo you, sir.